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JimmyB
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 2:55 pm

If I could tell my 16 year old self anything-Don't even bother trying to find a girl-there are none that like you. accept the fact you will be alone and friendless. Face the fact that every girl you talk to will laugh at you. Go out with the first girl that ever hit on you, even if you didn't find her attractive (Mentally or physically).
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 2:57 pm

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:
I didn't have anyone giving advice when I was 20. I had to figure out my stuff on my own. Which is what you have to do Jimmy. You've bled us dry.

If I could give my 20 yr old self advice I'd say this-

Life isn't a John Hughes movie. Guys you crush on from a distance don't magically show up on your doorstep on your birthday and make out with you. You have to talk to them. A lot of them.

Huddling with your female friend in a corner at a party is not inviting to a guy. Nor is engrossing yourself in deep conversation with female friends at a bar.

Don't feel bad you're not a slut. (Yeah I actually did feel bad about this- stupid waste of time)

Rejection sucks for a few weeks, but it goes away.

Stop getting extra helpings of tater tots in the dining hall. The gym is free and is a 5 minute walk from your dorm. GO TO IT.

and finally

Good move not going to frat parties cus you would have hated it.

Razz Clap i love Lorraine's advice! don't feel bad you're not a slut, hah.
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Camus
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 2:57 pm

JimmyB wrote:
If I could tell my 16 year old self anything-Don't even bother trying to find a girl-there are none that like you. accept the fact you will be alone and friendless. Face the fact that every girl you talk to will laugh at you. Go out with the first girl that ever hit on you, even if you didn't find her attractive (Mentally or physically).

Shut up. All the matters in life is what you make of it. Ignore all that other bullshit.
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IrishNameAndAnInjury
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 2:57 pm

JimmyB wrote:
If I could tell my 16 year old self anything-Don't even bother trying to find a girl-there are none that like you. accept the fact you will be alone and friendless. Face the fact that every girl you talk to will laugh at you. Go out with the first girl that ever hit on you, even if you didn't find her attractive (Mentally or physically).

Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying Pan Frying PanFrying Pan Frying Pan


Last edited by IrishNameAndAnInjury on Sun May 27, 2012 2:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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NeverTrustAJunkie
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 2:58 pm

I really think that I just didn't understand how guys & girls got together. I had a friend in high school who got every guy and it just seemed like she was getting them magically just because of her looks. But actually her looks were nothing remarkable. She was very outgoing and also sluttier than the average girl in our school. So those two things equaled a big win for her in the high school crowd.

I think that Jimmy's idea about how relationships even start is slightly distorted and that's just the beginning of where he's setting himself up to fail. The fact he can't buy into our confidence-is-everything advice is another. So if he keeps going at the rate he's going- ignoring excellent advice from people who know better and fighting us all the way on it, then he should definitely look forward to a life alone. And if not alone, with a girl who will walk all over him because he can't stand up to her and is so desperate to have a girlfriend, he'll put up with her horrible treatment of him.



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JimmyB
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 2:58 pm

What, it would save a lot of current misery I am in. Sorry, My confidence is a little shot after everything I've been through


Last edited by JimmyB on Sun May 27, 2012 3:02 pm; edited 1 time in total
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NeverTrustAJunkie
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 2:59 pm

Harbortown wrote:
I'm only 21, but if I could tell my 20 year old self something it would be "Don't be a beta, be an alpha". That's all I'd need.

Same for me. I think my story is slightly similar to yours (things happening after massive weight loss). All I really had to do was just be more social. I told Jimmy awhile back that when he's performing, he's automatically the alpha male in the room. But he doesn't seem to want to capitalize off that.
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NeverTrustAJunkie
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:01 pm

JimmyB wrote:
If I could tell my 16 year old self anything-Don't even bother trying to find a girl-there are none that like you. accept the fact you will be alone and friendless. Face the fact that every girl you talk to will laugh at you. Go out with the first girl that ever hit on you, even if you didn't find her attractive (Mentally or physically).

Maybe you should have gone out with that girl.

See? Already we know a girl liked you, rendering the statement that "There are none that like you" to be completely false. So everything else you say is designed to get us to pity you it seems.
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JimmyB
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:03 pm

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:
JimmyB wrote:
If I could tell my 16 year old self anything-Don't even bother trying to find a girl-there are none that like you. accept the fact you will be alone and friendless. Face the fact that every girl you talk to will laugh at you. Go out with the first girl that ever hit on you, even if you didn't find her attractive (Mentally or physically).

Maybe you should have gone out with that girl.

See? Already we know a girl liked you, rendering the statement that "There are none that like you" to be completely false. So everything else you say is designed to get us to pity you it seems.
After thinking it over, I think it was her just trying to be friendly. Or lead me on.
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IrishNameAndAnInjury
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:06 pm

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:
I really think that I just didn't understand how guys & girls got together. I had a friend in high school who got every guy and it just seemed like she was getting them magically just because of her looks. But actually her looks were nothing remarkable. She was very outgoing and also sluttier than the average girl in our school. So those two things equaled a big win for her in the high school crowd.

I think that Jimmy's idea about how relationships even start is slightly distorted and that's just the beginning of where he's setting himself up to fail. The fact he can't buy into our confidence-is-everything advice is another. So if he keeps going at the rate he's going- ignoring excellent advice from people who know better and fighting us all the way on it, then he should definitely look forward to a life alone. And if not alone, with a girl who will walk all over him because he can't stand up to her and is so desperate to have a girlfriend, he'll put up with her horrible treatment of him.

That last paragraph made me think of my psycho cousin's husband. He was so desperate for love and affection that when he met her (online when they were both 18 or 19), that he fell for her and they ended up moving in together and eventually getting married, even though she is the most screwed up person ever and not really even capable of love. Really, it's that bad. She is physically, verbally, and psychologically abusive, but he stays because he doesn't think he deserves anything better or can find anyone else to love him. It's really sad, but he's the only one that can improve his situation. And now there are three kids involved, making the situation much, much worse. It doesn't matter what I or anyone else says, he stays with her because he wants to. I think he likes being miserable. He actually reminds me a lot of Jimmy in some ways. Don't be like him, Jimmy. It's way worse being miserable with the wrong person than figuring out how to be happy on your own.
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Klown
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:07 pm

Dude..seriously, wise up, I didn't kiss a girl until I was 16...I was the ultimate loser, girls wouldn't even look at me, I didn't get laid until I was 20. Life deals you shit, you have to learn to deal with it, since the age of 20, I've been through every emotion and approach, I've slutted it out, I've had rough dry spells, I've had great times, bad times, horrible breakups, been cheated on, cheated on, I've been stripped off who I was, and yet here I am, I'm a strong person. Doesn't and didn't feel like it at times, but sure, that's life, you have to take it's knocks and learn.

Plus something else that I noticed...
How fair is it to that girl that you could go out with, that you view her as a booby prize, because that's all you feel you are worth, you could be keeping that girl back from her proper happiness, and yourself. That's a cowards way out, and no matter how you paint yourself, you're not a coward.

You've a backbone in your body (I hope..unless you're actually some sort of mutant) I suggest you start learning how to apply it to more than keeping your upper torso together.
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NeverTrustAJunkie
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:10 pm

Sadists need masochists for the whole sadism thing to even work as a concept. Jimmy is a masochist.
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steph
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:10 pm

Klown wrote:
Dude..seriously, wise up, I didn't kiss a girl until I was 16...I was the ultimate loser, girls wouldn't even look at me, I didn't get laid until I was 20. Life deals you shit, you have to learn to deal with it, since the age of 20, I've been through every emotion and approach, I've slutted it out, I've had rough dry spells, I've had great times, bad times, horrible breakups, been cheated on, cheated on, I've been stripped off who I was, and yet here I am, I'm a strong person. Doesn't and didn't feel like it at times, but sure, that's life, you have to take it's knocks and learn.

Plus something else that I noticed...
How fair is it to that girl that you could go out with, that you view her as a booby prize, because that's all you feel you are worth, you could be keeping that girl back from her proper happiness, and yourself. That's a cowards way out, and no matter how you paint yourself, you're not a coward.

You've a backbone in your body (I hope..unless you're actually some sort of mutant) I suggest you start learning how to apply it to more than keeping your upper torso together.

so much Razz and so much Clap
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NeverTrustAJunkie
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:14 pm

Gordon-
How can we even properly advise Jimmy when I can't even completely trust he's telling the truth in the first place? That girl you are referring to went from someone hitting on him to just being friendly within one post. I'm not sure he knows the difference. Which is another factor in his failure to get a girl.

So far what I know about Jimmy is that he meets a girl and automatically wants a full on relationship with her even though he barely knows her, then gets upset when she rejects him and blames it on life being unfair. Then, when we try to explain how it all works, because obviously everyone around him has failed to have the birds & the bees talk with him, we're met with beligerence. Thus his cycle continues.

And here we are stuck in the JimmyB vortex once again. Debonair is probably ready to kill us all right now.
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JimmyB
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:17 pm

Listen, The girl I am talking about, well, she did hit on me once....I ignored it because well, I found nothing attractive about her (Her personality stunk!) so I ignored that, and thinking about it later, she was probably stringing me along, since it seems those are the girls I fall for.
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Klown
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:18 pm

Wait..is this the same person you mentioned a few pages back that you like?
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IrishNameAndAnInjury
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:19 pm

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:
Sadists need masochists for the whole sadism thing to even work as a concept. Jimmy is a masochist.

Disturbing. Evil or Very Mad
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:19 pm

LORRAINE YOU ARE RIGHT, we are all drowning here.

Jimmy, you realize that you make every girl you meet sound like the biggest asshole, have you ever thought that the likelier possibility is that it isn't them, it's you?!
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JimmyB
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:20 pm

Klown wrote:
Wait..is this the same person you mentioned a few pages back that you like?
No. This was a different girl. This first girl was when I was around 16/17. Then there was one who was just being nice my junior year, I asked her if she wanted to do anything over the summer, and as I left-I heard her laughing behind my back. But no, First girl is a whole different girl than the current one I am waiting on. Honestly, how am I an asshole? I am a nice guy. I always get told this. A little sarcastic, a little difficult to get to talk to, but a nice guy.


Last edited by JimmyB on Sun May 27, 2012 3:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Klown
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:21 pm

Sorry, I picked you up wrong.
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IrishNameAndAnInjury
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:23 pm

NeverTrustAJunkie wrote:
Gordon-
How can we even properly advise Jimmy when I can't even completely trust he's telling the truth in the first place? That girl you are referring to went from someone hitting on him to just being friendly within one post. I'm not sure he knows the difference. Which is another factor in his failure to get a girl.

So far what I know about Jimmy is that he meets a girl and automatically wants a full on relationship with her even though he barely knows her, then gets upset when she rejects him and blames it on life being unfair. Then, when we try to explain how it all works, because obviously everyone around him has failed to have the birds & the bees talk with him, we're met with beligerence. Thus his cycle continues.

And here we are stuck in the JimmyB vortex once again. Debonair is probably ready to kill us all right now.

Jimmy, do you need someone to explain the birds and the bees to you? Do you know where babies come from?

Life's unfair. It just is. We all have to suck it up and move on.

Lorraine, I bet you're right. Andrew is going to threaten us all with banishment because we got stuck in the JimmyB Bermuda Triangle once again. Rolling Eyes Don't ban us, Andrew! Sad
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IrishNameAndAnInjury
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:25 pm

JimmyB wrote:
Klown wrote:
Wait..is this the same person you mentioned a few pages back that you like?
No. This was a different girl. This first girl was when I was around 16/17. Then there was one who was just being nice my junior year, I asked her if she wanted to do anything over the summer, and as I left-I heard her laughing behind my back. But no, First girl is a whole different girl than the current one I am waiting on. Honestly, how am I an asshole? I am a nice guy. I always get told this. A little sarcastic, a little difficult to get to talk to, but a nice guy.

Why are you difficult to talk to? How can you change that? Obviously that has nothing to do with these dozens of girls you have mentioned, it's something within yourself that you need to address.
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JimmyB
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:26 pm

Okay, I explained my situation, and now I am done complaining. Sorry, it just gets fustrating having all this happen to me, and No place to vent to let it out. It is better to vent it, instead of keeping it bottled up forever right? Keeping it bottled ends up letting you meet the men with the white coats right
?
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:26 pm

Maybe Jimmy just needs lessons on how to have a conversation the other person will enjoy, and then maybe he won't be rejected quite nearly as often.
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Klown
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PostSubject: Re: romance issues   Sun May 27, 2012 3:27 pm

Jimmy, when you're with these girls, what do you talk about?

In general.
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