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 Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]

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Philo
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Wed Jan 02, 2013 8:25 am

JackStreetcar wrote:
First song of the New Year, written about last night, obviously. And I put it on Soundcloud as well, to save you the annoyance of last.fm.

https://soundcloud.com/sunshinelullaby/new-years-eve

New Year's Eve

The girls got on their party dresses wearing stockings with no shame on their lips
The boys put a cap on the year with a T-shirt looking for a resurrection kiss
I don't want to be one of them but there's no one here like me and even if there was
I wouldn't recognize her tonight, the room is spinning and I've lost too much blood

Come on down, I'm in a crowd and out on the town tonight
Stuck in the middle of all these liars, caught in a hot copper light
Float through the room like a ghost on a string pulled by a drunk marionette
It's New Year's Eve, baby, come inside, I'm already dead

I tried to be graceful, tried to be patient but I wasn't born with an ease
Struggle to fit in, I take what I'm given and pray that I won't be released
As soon as I'm clear I just try to steer away from the haunts of the house
Playing the host to the highs and the lows of another year bleeding out

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Clap
Really enjoyed this one Jack! The guitar kind of reminds me a bit of the start of Great Expectations.

Anyways, heres a bit of literature I've done recently. Its a short story more than anything else. Kinda evolved from an idea I had for a poem.

Its called The Siren and The Wolf. Its narrated by the Wolf. Italics are internal thoughts from both characters. I've changed the structure to make it a bit more clear. Let me know what you guys think! bounce Warning: It does contain some mild swearing

Spoiler:
 


Last edited by Philo on Wed Jan 02, 2013 11:01 am; edited 4 times in total (Reason for editing : Stucture)
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EyesOnThatCadillac
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:17 pm

I literally wrote this last night without thinking about it, I thought it was a good concept and I might look to write some serious lyrics to it in the future. It's more of a collection of lines than a poem.
Any feedback would be appreciated:

I remember seeing your face on the news
Age: 17, last seen leaving school
You had big, wide eyes
And looked like a girl from the songs on the radio
The kind that are made to break your heart.
From the description they gave you sounded perfect
And I hated the world for your situation.

I was only a boy and didn't understand
I lay in bed thinking of you, and decided to find you myself
Yes, that would win your heart!

Alas, the next morning you were found...dead.
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Philo
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Wed Jan 02, 2013 5:20 pm

I like this Cadillac. Especially the ending, so abrupt!

Reminds me kinda of the Tom Waits song 'Georgia Lee' for some reason
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eagles1139
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Wed Jan 02, 2013 5:28 pm

Here's something I just started, never really written lyrics before...but some good old News Years Eve heartbreak inspired this. It's far from done but this is the start:

I got a bottle up on the dashboard,
and a razor-blade tattoo.
Got some old friends that look like strangers,
so that bottle, it'll have to do

And she was vapor, yeah she was a picture
in my breath on a frozen night.
But she's got a new trick, yeah she's here now
so that bottle's in my fist real tight.

And so we stumbled in the darkness,
that jet black ice all chippin' up our shoes.
And from a distance, it looked like dancin'
Hell I guess that distance, it'll have to do.


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spgilbert
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:46 am

so, since the last time i posted here, i wrote and recorded a whole album. here's my bandcamp page:
http://waylandgray.bandcamp.com/album/wayland-lynn-gray-2

i totally rewrote the American Radio song that i posted a few pages back. it doesn't sound like TGA anymore. after recording that album, i've written a few more too, so hopefully i'll have another album in the works soon. anyway, here's one of the newest ones:

Moving On

Those Christmas lights are plugged in and shining
But they donít seem to shine so bright tonight
These strings are old and they donít sound the way I like them
But I guess theyíll be alright for a while

Seems like these days everything keeps moving faster
Nothing lasts, and I just canít hold on
Theyíre tearing all this down come the springtime
But come tomorrow, youíll be gone

(chorus)
I always hoped that Iíd have something better
Some truer words I could give to you
I donít know what else I can do
But sit here working on these moving on blues

We packed up all your stuff in cardboard boxes
Stacked them up in the back of a rental truck
We pulled up all the roots that you had planted
Before they grew too deep for you to run

I found a pack of Parliaments in the glove box
Hid away since last time we went to Charlotte
Man, there ainít nothing like saying goodbye
To someone closer than your own blood

(repeat chorus)

You can get used to anything that doesnít kill you
But, man, this town, itís been killing us both
So I hope you find everything that you been searching for
And maybe weíll meet somewhere up the road

(repeat chorus)
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Hanswurst
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:58 am

brilliant folk! cheers that's all i can say Very Happy i'm speechless..

oh, and we still need a dimestore saints record Very Happy so many great artists on here
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JimmyB
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Thu Jan 10, 2013 7:58 am

I've got one ready to do a recording of my original "ghosts of this town"
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Philo
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Tue Jan 15, 2013 3:33 pm

Just a little something something I wrote the other night.

- Rat Pacts

I do yes. And yes, of course I do!
And if not someone else before then,
well then most definitely you.
A true commitment or a lonely promise made between two?

Thirty seems too big a number.
What about twenty eight?
Because, twenty three seems a little too early,
but twenty six seems far too late.

Thinking again, I guess twenty four sounds good.
Although if you were to ask tonight, I know I would.
Tonight? Lets do it. Do you mind?
Well, maybe tomorrow. Provided you're not this much of an asshole, all of the time.

Heres tomorrow, time to follow through.
Fulfill empty promises, you can walk the walk too.
Hands united, something feels wrong.
Brown eyes with the snake. The chance is long gone.
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Hanswurst
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Tue Jan 15, 2013 3:58 pm

Philo wrote:
Just a little something something I wrote the other night.

- Rat Pacts

I do yes. And yes, of course I do!
And if not someone else before then,
well then most definitely you.
A true commitment or a lonely promise made between two?

Thirty seems too big a number.
What about twenty eight?
Because, twenty three seems a little too early,
but twenty six seems far too late.

Thinking again, I guess twenty four sounds good.
Although if you were to ask tonight, I know I would.
Tonight? Lets do it. Do you mind?
Well, maybe tomorrow. Provided you're not this much of an asshole, all of the time.

Heres tomorrow, time to follow through.
Fulfill empty promises, you can walk the walk too.
Hands united, something feels wrong.
Brown eyes with the snake. The chance is long gone.
Shocked scratch cheers Clap
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Philo
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Thu Jan 17, 2013 5:55 pm

Hanswurst wrote:

Shocked scratch cheers Clap

I was gonna say thanks but I thought ' wave ' was more appropriate!

Another one Ive written recently:

- New Season, Same Weather

The room
is dark
for me
to see,
and then,
I see
that spark of ivory

This light
it consumes
the room
no more
shadows
for all to see

Its clear.
Its here,
the time
for me
to divulge
a little bit of honesty.

I dont
know why
I even came here
with present company.

A grip
so tight
around
your waist.
Your lips
just bite 'em boy.

It feels
so good,
and so true
and so real.
You know,
you think,
you want it to be
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JimmyB
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Thu Jan 17, 2013 8:35 pm

Monongahela Fog

Darkness falls, Silence screams
In haunted alleys of my dreams

The mist rolls in, off the river
Full of feelings that were neve delivered

We were Blessed down by the sheetz sign in town
In the Monongahela Fog

Emptiness, my favorite friend
The only one, who stays till the end
Full of dreams that taunt us now

We were Blessed down by the sheetz sign in town
In the Monongahela Fog

scars of the past, Line my face
Heal me now, with your embrace
Route 88, gives me the passion to live
To escape my fate

We were Blessed down by the sheetz sign in town
In the Monongahela Fog

People walk the railroad tracks
hike the highways of the night
take the first right at the light

We were Blessed down by the sheetz sign in town
In the Monongahela Fog

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jonester
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Thu Jan 17, 2013 8:39 pm

I am truly impressed with the writing I'm seeing here.........WOW
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JimmyB
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Thu Jan 17, 2013 8:43 pm

As usual, any advice to improve "Monongahela Fog" (Mo-non-gah-Hela)
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AGoodTime
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Fri Jan 18, 2013 10:16 am

I entered 'the UK's biggest free poetry competition' and now I'm getting this poem published Very Happy :

A Wild and Reckless Breeze

The cool, wet grass pressed against your fingertips,
And whilst years never lie,
It brought a light to the empty, old streets.
Ink on silver water,
Fireworks crackling over the place you knew.
The poisons of the streams
Is swirling round your head like my empty dreams.
Whilst I stand where I know
Your hands shook like a leaf in the breeze.
I recognise those stairs.
They were the ones where we used to sit and laugh.
Was it so good for you?
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Philo
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Sat Jan 19, 2013 6:37 pm

Really like the lyrics to 'Monongahela Fog' Jimmy, would love to hear a recorded version of it

Getting a sorta Boss circa. Darkness-era vibe from it. Keep up the good work buddy!
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JimmyB
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Sun Jan 20, 2013 12:14 am

I was kind of going for the slightly punk of "Darkness" era, with a mix of the style of "Halloween"
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OldManShoes3
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:35 am


Burnt Air

The cold breeze brings burnt air to my lungs
Itís a fire Iíve needed; itís a fire Iíve won
Have you ever noticed that hole in your heart
That hole in our hearts
When you keep on counting the battles youíve lost
The place where you keep the smoldering past
The dreams you invest, gods and divine rest

Well Iíve never been one for the eternal
My heart races to a less divine journal
I feel your spirit resonate inside me
Within escaping moonlit melodies

The cold breeze brings burnt air to my lungs
Itís the fire that sparks me, in the battles Iíve won
Where you find peace, I breathe smoke
I burned down the entrance
To endless hours when I keep on counting whatís lost and whatís broke
Where I find my soul, you feel the beat
Never feeling the presence that can lie deep beneath

Cause Iíve never been one for the eternal
My heart races to a less divine journal
Belief reconciles like bullets in the wind
As much of a choice as the sun settles in

In a vision I saw him
One lonesome December night
I think he was from Chicago or Jersey
And he told me Iíd be alright
That my faith was strong
But my plans were weak
In the unknown and the unseen
Itís more a feeling than a dream

Iíve never been sure, Iíve never been right
If you donít see what I see I hope you can find your own sight
Iíve always been sure, that Iíve never been right
Hereís a prayer for those searching until they feel right

Cause Iíve never been one for the eternal
We got what we know, to take to the burial
Not sure if thereís a heaven, donít know if thereís a hell
Except the ones we already found, the ones we create by ourselves
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bringiton_ty
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:26 am

New song that ive just done with my band The Knuckle Downs. really appreciate feedback on lyrics. (always nervous posting these up haha)

Im stumbling round in a carnival town getting lost amongst the lights,
I hold my head up high and dream of better nights
Yeah it wasnt long ago, when we walked you held my hand
Together we faced down, whatever came around

Now Im ok, I was fine
Im Falling apart, tonight
Im just waiting for the day, when I hear you say
Its ok, its alright

And I'm waiting for the angels to sing
Holding on to whats left of me
And in my heart I bleed when i hear the radio
Another song of you and me

I see you walking by, on a cold december night
I try to dodge your eye, hide my scars from your sight
You can call a thousand times, pull the moon from the sky
You can wish upon a star, but you can never turn back time

And I'm waiting for the angels to sing
Holding on to whats left of me
And in my heart I bleed when i hear the radio
Another song of you and me
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The Poet Jonah
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:48 pm

been away from the forum for awhile and got back on today to check out some of yalls stuff. Philo you're freaking killing it! love that stuff, gave me chills. the crisis freaking amazing! The last two poems about this are absolutely beautiful! oldmanshoes makes me jealous of his talents, very good stuff. So I figured I'd show you guys what I've been up to:

[The Low Tide of the River Thames]
Christ Jesus stands over the blind body of Paul
And in the heat of Londonís burning
The Saintís cathedral reminds me of my heart,
How it leaps for New England
But dies to bear your name.

This is me peering out
From within the flames
Only to see your love for me
Digging in the rubble
For the bombs that
Didnít go off.

From the selfish corner
Of my soulís embrace
I can see Iím not alone;
My motherís bruised excuse
For not loving my father,
And my father too embarrassed
To even ask for such a thing.
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DeathoftheCool
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:57 pm

The Poet Jonah wrote:
been away from the forum for awhile and got back on today to check out some of yalls stuff. Philo you're freaking killing it! love that stuff, gave me chills. the crisis freaking amazing! The last two poems about this are absolutely beautiful! oldmanshoes makes me jealous of his talents, very good stuff. So I figured I'd show you guys what I've been up to:

[The Low Tide of the River Thames]
Christ Jesus stands over the blind body of Paul
And in the heat of Londonís burning
The Saintís cathedral reminds me of my heart,
How it leaps for New England
But dies to bear your name.

This is me peering out
From within the flames
Only to see your love for me
Digging in the rubble
For the bombs that
Didnít go off.

From the selfish corner
Of my soulís embrace
I can see Iím not alone;
My motherís bruised excuse
For not loving my father,
And my father too embarrassed
To even ask for such a thing.

this is great
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OldManShoes3
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:27 pm

I've had the lines "sunlight slips like sympathy" "that simple magic that can't be controlled" and "I found my heart in the trenches of rock and roll" floating around forever but I could never fit them into a song, but I finally put them together and this is what I came up with. It's simple but I think it came out pretty well.

Trenches

I found my heart in the trenches of rock and roll
Living in the flames of the lies that they stole
From the truth that always gave us something to hold

And in these trenches we have all we need to know
I can barely see the sun but still these seeds we sow
This river of tears belongs to our garden alone

You taught me to survive
You sung about the night
That simple magic that canít be controlled
Always giving us something to hold

I spent most my life beneath the ground
Tangled in the depths until I was found
I had to hear the words before I could feel the sound

You taught me to survive
You sung about the night
That simple magic that canít be controlled
Always giving us something to hold

Sunlight slips like sympathy
As we cling to these roots we found in misery
Creating mystery in its place
I found my heart in the trenches of rock and roll

You taught me to survive
You sung about the night
That simple magic that canít be controlled
Always giving us something to hold
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HolyBreakOfDay
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Mon Jan 28, 2013 5:01 pm

Great one! I haven't read something good as this in a while on the internet! Wink
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Philo
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Fri Feb 01, 2013 9:51 pm

Just thinking.

Just thinking.
Not because I can.
Not because I want to.
But because I do not want to do.

Just thinking.
Of endless possibilities.
Of love.
Of hate.
Not of being alone.
But of of being alone without you.

Just thinking.
Of excuses not to do.
Of reasons why to do.
Of paranoid obsessions.
Of naiive expressions.
Of caring too much.
Of really not caring enough.
Or of caring until you really no longer care.
Convincing myself of false truths.
That its not there.
Or that maybe it might be.

Just thinking.
Of me.
Of you.
Of 'us'.
Of being better off.
That complications are concrete.
That they're not easy to defeat.
That maybe it is not worth it.
That maybe it is worth too much.
Maybe we were this.
We are that.
We should be otherwise.

Just thinking.
That maybe it isn't as bad as I think that it appears.
Then again. I''m
Just thinking.
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JimmyB
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Tue May 14, 2013 7:58 pm

Another new one

Every little bit counts

I've been better, I've been worse. Said my prayers and swore a curse. Never thought I'd be be right here but here I am again.
Have you ever understood, what it's like to sing the blues, Have you ever had to fake a smile

There's a weakness deep inside us
There's a strength as well
Some us find the strengh, some just give right up.

Sometimes the world just goes to hell, I've been there from time to time
Who knows when things just turn around, there's a frown for every smile

Can I sing the blues good enough for you
Could I play the blues strong enough for you
Who else can play them like I do

There's a weakness deep inside us
There's a strength as well
Some us find the strengh, some just give right up.

What can you do, when get there, can you ever try again?
When all your friends are gone as well as any fan
Can I pick up the phone and scream sorry
I was a fool, and can you ever forgive me

Every little bit counts this time around
Help me from being held down
save me from the ghosts that never were
Help me rise above it all

There's a weakness deep inside us
There's a strength as well
Some us find the strengh, some just give right up.
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DeathoftheCool
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PostSubject: Re: Creative Writing [was: Poetry & Lyrics]   Wed May 15, 2013 3:23 am

International Orange

When I was young I would tightrope walk on telephone wires.
Piano keys amplified every step I took,
Chimney smoke encircled the spokes of my bike,
And I'd ride through the rows of painted houses
Until the homes I knew were shrouded by the arms of the evening.

The place I lived as a child filled my head with magnetic pictures.
I lined my arms with VCR tape,
Fueled by instinct to wrap my mind in something warm.
At night we'd cut a hole in the fence and sneak onto the eighteenth hole.
Firecrackers would light my brothers' faces
As we tossed ourselves into the course's sandy bunkers -
Young bodies flying in an imaginary combat zone.

There are stories in my pocket that could make you shiver.
Russian River.
I crossed paths with a Labrador
And followed her into the woods.
In my travels I met toothless strangers and elderly specters.
Rickety shacks and glowing lanterns lined my walk along the banks.
I balanced my tiny sneakers on the unforgiving boulders
When I slipped into the rushing river.
I emerged into a clearing where a warm, familiar cabin stood -
It was then I saw their wrinkled worried faces awaiting my return.
That night, my mother dried my wet curls
And I drifted into an effortless sleep before the sun could set.
I remember it all

That night I dreamed about how we flew to New York with my grandparents.
My sisters and I snuck out of our hotel after dark.
Our pajamas were soaked by the melting midnight snow
And we laughed and slid on the Central Park ice.
The smooth frozen floor shook with the sound of twilight bells,
And we made it back under the covers
Before they could even notice we were gone.
I remember it all

And now you know, dear, how your touch keeps me afloat,
How our car doors can't separate what strings our teenage hearts together,
How you awaken something ancient in me.
And as I drive home across the bridge,
I know I don't want to die tonight.
But if I don't make it back,
I would make sure the moon would light your way home.
And my spirit would sit in my family's house
Until my stories could fall into my unborn nephews' ears.
Then I'd take one last look at my foggy home,
Climb down the age-old iceplant cliffs,
And slide into the sea once more.
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